distresses

i'm currently paying the price for ignoring my bank book for a given period of time. yah. not so cool. thank goodness for onling banking. and esther's handy computer at the tips of my fingers. i'm also experiencing the distress of possibly haveing to pull my life together in the space of three weeks. ugh. i mean this is a very cool thing until you look at my room and the ammount of things i would have to get done. i asked dad how someone gets an ulcer. he gave me a graphic description and i said "oh" and just kind of stood there wondering if i had one or not. i think it's just nerves. i'm seriously disturbed as april would say. ;) last night marked the 4th night that i haven't gotten to bed at a healthy hour. but i suppose i had a better reason. we went to a music festival thing in meredith ny. it was music in this beautiful barn and it was a lot of fun. there was a lot of old people there. these weren't just any old people though. these were cultured old people. people who do stocks and watch cnn and are mainly democrats who say words like "wonderful" and "beautiful" when they hear someone pray and who clap daintily and wear shawls and vests and gold bracelets and signet rings. and who know when the proper time is to clap at such events as a duo playing various sonatas on the clarinet and piano. i'm saying this because last night during one of the pieces i was definitely day dreaming. my mind was seven states away and the music provided the perfect background to my little fairy dream world in which i found myself. i sat listlessly dreaming away and staring with a vacant glassy-eyed look at the performers in front of me. and then PRESTO! the song was done. or... so i thought. i snapped out of my day dream world (or night dream i think it was hitting 9:30 or so. and i clapped. big mistake. nobody else was clapping with me. but i mean the musicians paused for a really long time and they were looking at us so i was like hey this is it. i immediately sensed the complete disapproval of those around me. i don't think anyone knew exactly who it was but there was a definite air about the place. the musicians looked as if they were thinking "that poor uncultured little girl" and the old people all had a look of solemn dissaproval as they mourned my ignorance for a few moments. "the youth of these days, how sad." to make matters worse i looked at esther and she was staring at me with a sad look. she leaned over and pointed to the program saying "the is only the andante. you aren't supposed to clap until the allegro con brio" she then shook her head with a distant look in her eyes and then turned her face to the stage and closed her eyes sinking in the beauty of the music. *sigh* i think i was forgiven or forgotten by the general populace by the end of the evening so i took solace in that fact as we rode home.

oh i have so much to tell! but i can't post about it for a little while yet so it's going to have to wait. :) if i weren't so tired i think i would be bouncing off the walls. i think i'm slugging i can't bounce. ms tammy said i couldnt slug she wasn't used to seeing me slug i had to bounce. so i'll try to sleep so i can BOUNCE back to georgia all in one piece! i'm going to go and try to finish my wretched banking. maybe watch a movie on essy's comp. it's sort of funny i haven't watched tv since i've been home. a very cleansing experience. i actually didn't watch much at school either. anyways that was random. ok bye!

all my love,

ruthy